7 places I want to travel to before I'm 30

7 Places I Want To Travel To Before I’m 30

I spent my childhood watching all the other kids going off on holiday every year while I stayed at home and, in all honesty, I never cared. My parents couldn’t afford to go on holiday. We never had much money while I was growing up and they never saw the appeal of spending what bit of spare money we had on holidays. As such that’s how I grew up: having no interest in holidays…until I discovered Pinterest!

7 places I want to travel to before I'm 30

Now originally I used this mostly pinning random crap about sherlock, harry potter and cute animals. Now don’t get me wrong that’s a great way to spend a few hours but it isn’t productive or helpful for my business ideas or life plans.

If you want to follow me on Pinterest then you can find me here. I’m always pinning things, its actually becoming a bit of an addiction!

I’ve been enjoying upping my game on there but its has a bit of a side effect; I found a lot of travel boards. They’ve made me change that “I’m not interested in travelling” statement! I would love to go to some of the places I’ve seen, experience some of the things I’ve read about and just generally actually live my life rather than just survive.

And yes, that’s a Croods reference….

So I decided to make a post about the 7 places I want to travel to before I’m 30. Its kind of scary that its only 7 years until I actually hit that milestone! That means I’d have to go to one place a year! Do I honestly think I’ll be able to do this? No. Unless I get lucky and win the lottery (which I don’t even play) or my business plans does ten times better than I expect I doubt I’ll have to money to go to more than two or three places on this list.

But I can sure as hell try!

Just a little note: obviously none of these photos are my own, they’re what I’ve found on Pinterest and pinned to my travel board.

Amsterdam

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I’ll be the first to admit, until I read a ton of blog posts and saw exactly how lovely it is here, this place was a big no no. Its reputation isn’t exactly the best and considering I’m not interested in any of those things you forgive me for dismissing the place.

But theres so much more that you can do and see here and I would love to go for a weekend and try it out. It isn’t too far or too expensive and I think it would make a good “first time on an airplane” holiday!

Peru

The culture, history and ultimate fate of the Incas and the Mayans has been a subject thats always interested me and I would love the chance to go visit all of the historical sites and see them for myself.

Not only that but the views are spectacular!

Egypt

As anyone that knows me can tell you, I was obsessed with all things ancient Egypt as a child. Don’t ask me why, I have no idea. Just one of those obsessions aspies get I guess.

Hell at one point I taught myself how to read basic hieroglyphs and could name all over 100 of the Gods and tell you what they did and how they were dipicted…yes I know how bad that sounds but at the time I thought it was a great idea…

Anyway this one has stayed with me all my life and I still love anything to do with the subject- just not with the same intensity luckily- so I would love to go and see all the sites for myself! Just maybe not right now, considering everything thats going off at the moment.

New Zealand 

Okay so I’m not going to lie, the main reason I want to go here is to see Hobbiton and do the Lord of the Rings tour. They do have some fantasic places to visit and the culture is interesting but yeah…Hobbiton!

In all honestly I think this one is never going to happen, I’m terrified of spiders and this place is full of them… Big ones… Big, deadly ones…you know what, I might just pass thanks!

Malta

This one is my friends fault, she showed me a picture and I fell in love. Some of my family came here when I was little and they loved it! This is probably the only place where I would actually want to swim in the sea or lay on the beach all day. Maybe go out on a boat so I could see gorgeous sights like the above picture. Either way, this place is a must go!

Scotland

My nans family come from here and I’ve always felt a pull to go and see Scotland for myself! I could happily take a month and just travel to lots of different places, staying in little cottages in the middle of no where.

It also wouldn’t be too difficult to do, just catch the train up to Edinburgh. I know me and Abby are planning to go up there for a weekend some time next year so it would be a great starting point, see how much it costs and how easy it is and then plan a tour from there!

Iceland

Iceland is another ancestral homeland for me, this time on my grandads side. The story is a Viking King invaded Britain and took a local priestess as his wife, thus starting our family here. Now I’ve always just thought it was nothing more than a good story but when my grandad traced our family tree he found we do actually come from invading vikings, so that much it true! Whether he was a King I don’t know for sure, but it would be awesome if he was- I’d be royalty!

Anyway I would love to go to Iceland, try the hot springs as shown above, sit out under a clear sky and look at the stars and if I’m lucky, see the aurora borealis! If I could only pick one place to go it would be here!

So thats it- 7 places I want to visit before I’m 30!

Do you have any places you would love to travel to? Or have you been to one of the places I’ve mentioned? Let me know! 

Check out my previous post: Anxiety and Shopping

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Anxiety and Shopping

Anxiety and Shopping

Shopping can be wonderful, especially if you’re meeting up with your friends, having a look round at things you’ll never be able to afford and then go sit with a coffee and have a good old fashioned catch up and gossip.

The problems can start when you need to go shopping on your own and when you have anxiety.

Anxiety and Shopping

From my own personal experience I’ve found that I have days when I can cope on my own pretty well, I’ve been able to go eat on my own and even go for a wander and a window-shop.

Other days I have to be in and out as quickly as possible, I have constant intrusive thoughts about how everyone is looking and laughing at me because I’m ugly or have something on my face.

Unfortunately I can’t tell if I’m going to have a good day or a bad day until I’m actually there which is really annoying, so I’ve found that the best thing to do is plan for a bad day and then if I have a good one, its a nice surprise!

The main problem I have with shopping centres is that they’re so overstimulating, especially in larger ones: too many people, too much noise and in the case of Meadowhall, way too hot! I know that part of this is my Aspergers but speaking to other anxiety fighters, it sounds like loads of people struggle with this so I thought i’d cover it in this weeks post.

Anxiety and Shopping

These are some tips that I’ve picked up over the years from personal experience and also from taking to other people. If I’ve missed any then please feel free to add them in the comments- I want this post to be as helpful as possible.

  1. Not going to lie, online shopping is my best friend. Its great when you know exactly what you want and you’re willing to wait a day or two to get it. Now the biggest problem for me is that i’m such a funny size in clothing, especially trousers. I can be a size 10 in one shop and then struggle to fit into a 14 in another! I really wish that brands would stick to the same sizes, it would make life so much easier. Luckily most places are good with returns but it is a bit of a faf, having to send things back and wait for the new one. However it can be a lifesaver in emergencies!
  2. Go when it isn’t going to be busy. I know that this can be hard to judge sometimes but this is something I always try and do. I know not everyone will be able to do this but if you can avoid going on the weekend it will be so much quieter. Ive found that going before 10am on a weekday is the quietest time, but just before closing is another great option!
  3. Where possible take someone with you. It will help to have someone there to distract you and also give you advice on things. This is vital if you’re like me as i’m so indecisive and hate spending money; I could spend an hour in a shop, pick up loads of things and end up talking myself out of buying all of them! Also my friends know my tells so they notice when I’m about to have a panic attack and can either get me out of the situation or try and keep me calm/distract me.
  4. Shop in Charity shops. For some reason there is still a huge stigma around shopping in charity shops but honestly, they’re amazing! Almost all of my clothes come from there, have done for years. I have picked up tons of high end, branded items for a couple of pounds! You can get some gorgeous and unusual home wear items too for a fraction of a cost. Plus the money goes to a good cause rather than lining the pockets of big brands. Not only are they great value but, because of the stigma they are usually really quiet too!
  5. Lists. You’ll notice this will probably be in every post but honestly, lists will be your new best friends! If you know for a fact you need to go shopping for specific items then write them down. I don’t know about you but when I’m anxious I forget absolutely everything. I even forgot my name once when I was having a panic attack! So to make sure you don’t forget the things you absolutely need to pick up, write them down. You can get loads of great apps for your phone or you can stick with the trusty pen and paper. Or do both, whatever works for you!

So there you go, again if you have any other tips I’ve missed out then drop me a comment!

The series so far:

eBay and Anxiety

Travelling and Anxiety

Check out my previous post: Dear Diary: So Much For Organised

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Dear Diary: So much for organised

Dear Diary: So Much For Organised

Oh my days, this week has tested me more than any other!

You would think that going to one of the largest and highly recommended universities in the North that they would be organised. Ha, no! Not even close.

As I’ve mentioned on here I got accepted onto the Digital Media Production course, straight on second year (level 5) as I’d already done two years of graphic design. As such I needed the direct entry timetable which would put me in with the other level 5s.

Did they send me this?

No.

They sent me the first years timetable and induction details.

Dear Diary: So much for organised

I’m not going to go into too much detail, it’ll take forever and its pretty boring reading really, but let’s just say I spent most of the week wasting money going into uni for things that I didn’t need. Which then freaked me out as I was there on my own with no idea where I was going, who to contact and getting constantly told different things by different people, which just confused me even more.

It’s a good job I was able to keep my head and work through the panic attack as I’ve now been able to sort everything out myself, went to the correct level 5 induction and been enrolled. Even better- the picture on my student card looks pretty good for a change!

Now don’t get me wrong there have been some fun moments and some things that I’m very proud of happen this week.

On Sunday I stayed over at a friends who’s recently moved in with some of his course mates. The plan was for him to show me where a few places are than I needed and we’d go to the Freebies Fair on Monday. However the other guys wanted to go out for a drink at a local pub and I didn’t really have much choice but to go with them.

I coped really well surprisingly, the fact that it was quiz night probably had something to do with it. I love quizzes, I’m usually really good at them and it was fun trying to be the team that got the answer fastest. We didn’t win but I was the reason we got a lot of the questions right and I even got us the fastest answer three times!

Something that I’m proud of but that might seem daft to you reading this is that I managed to eat in a place I didn’t know, on my own. Eating on my own is something I’ve only been able to attempt this last year as it used to trigger my anxiety off so badly, lots of intrusive thoughts and assumptions. But on Tuesday I sat in the Students Union restaurant on my own for an hour or so, eating and then writing up next weeks blog post!

It’s a win for me and I’m really proud of the progress I’ve made over the last two years, even if it does sound strange to normal people.

I’ve also managed to keep up with my blogging schedule throughout all this and get two new posts up with week! Its been a push and a bit of a rush but I did it. I’m hoping I’ll still be able to keep to my new schedule of posting a Mental Health related post on Tuesdays, a Lifestyle or Beauty one on Thursdays and then my Dear Diary roundups on Sundays. If I can’t then I hope you’ll understand and bear with me while I get used to a new university and schedule!

Related: Travelling and Anxiety and Beat the Kink Bobble Review

The whole week has been one constant panic attack really, only minor for the most part, but its had me on edge and I’ve not been sleeping or eating properly. Since I managed to get everything sorted on Thursday I’ve started to feel better but I pushed myself a little too far on Saturday- I decided to go shopping in Meadowhall on my own, on a weekend!

iPhone 6s and Makeup

Now amusingly I have a post about shopping and anxiety going live on Tuesday, so its ironic that I didn’t follow my own advice, but I didn’t really have much option.

Its my dads birthday on Wednesday and I needed to go get a present for him. Because of his background he’s not exactly bothered over Christmas and Birthdays: his parents became Jehovahs Witnesses when he was 7 years old so he suddenly went from having both to not being allowed them anymore, not easy to understand when your only a kid! He resented the whole religion and wasn’t interested so he left the second he turned 16 and was given the option but the damage had already been done.

He doesn’t do any of the usual “Dad” things either- he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t play sports and he doesn’t drive. The only thing he’s interested in is guitars…not exactly budget friendly!

I tend to save his big present for Christmas so I just bought him some FCUK stuff from Boots. Might not sound much but like I said, to him it’s just another day. Nothing special. If it was up to him I don’t think he’d even acknowledge it was his birthday, but me and mum always make sure to get him something and celebrate it for him, even if he doesn’t. 

NYX Lip Lingerie in Embelleshment

While I was there I couldn’t resist picking up a new NYX Lip Lingerie- this time in Embellishment. I’ve seen this on so many people lately and I think its such a gorgeous colour that I had to try it for myself! 

Now when I first started blogging I wrote a post called NYX Lip Lingerie Letdown, about how much I didn’t like the formula and that I wasn’t really happy with the product. Since taking it back, getting a new one and trying out a few more of this collection, I do have to say that the first one must have been a dud. I’ve not had the same problem with any of the others that I’ve bought and, while I do still prefer the formula of Liquid Suede, these are still worth buying if you’re looking for more muted colours.

Makeup Obsession Highlighter in the shade Bare

I’ve been looking for a new highlighter for a while now but I’ve not been able to find one I like, at an affordable price anyway! By sheer dumb luck I glanced over at a display as I was walking to go to the tills and saw a brand I’d never heard of before- Makeup Obsession. They stuff on display was really quite cheap so I thought I’d stop and do a quick swatch of the highlighter, see if it was any good…oh my days I am in love! This stuff is so bloody pigmented it is unreal, I don’t usually use American sayings but this deserves the words highlight on fleek! Its got a lovely rose gold tint to it and it was only £3- what more could you ask for!

You can also take the product out of the case, as I accidentally found out when I got home. I wondered if it was so you could put them in and build your own pallet so I had a quick look online. The answer is yes! They do pallets in different sizes and colours- of course I want this Rose Gold one! I then got looking at the rest of their products and I can see that I’ll be having a big haul from them very soon- all of their eyeshadows, blushes, highlighters and contours are just £2/£3! Watch this space as I can see a review post coming very soon.

iPhone 6s

The final thing I bought is something I’ve been wanting for quite a while- an iPhone 6s! Yes I know that everyone wants the 7 but not me, I don’t like it at all. Looking at all the reviews it’s not that much different from the 6s, not enough to make up for the dodgy new home button and the fact it has no headphone jack. I know it comes with an adapter but that means I can’t charge it and listen to music at the same time, not good when I’m travelling!

Anyway I am absolutely in love with my new phone. I got it in Rose Gold (of course!) and everything moved over quickly and easily. The 5s was the first iPhone I’d ever had so I wasn’t sure if it would be a ball ache trying to get everything onto my 6S- not at all! I just plugged it into my MacBook, pressed restore and it moved everything over- apps, contacts, photos- the lot!

It’s taken me a while to get used to it as its bigger than my old one and I only have tiny hands, but I’m so glad I took got it. It’s so much quicker than my last one and the 3D touch abilities are really useful!

Now I just need to get myself organised and get some blog posts pre-written and the photographs taken. I can imagine I’ll be really busy for the first few weeks at uni and as such it might affect my blogging. I already have one post written out and ready to go live next week but thats all, I’ve just been too busy and stressed to do more- so much for being organised!

Now to go make a large cup of coffee and read one of my new books- I think I’ve earnt some me time after this week!

Check out my previous post: Beat the Kink Bobble Review

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Beat the Kink Bobble Review

Beat the Kink Bobble Review

For months all I’ve seen and heard about is the Invisibobble and I have to admit I was intrigued. Now that my hair has grown to the point where can (finally!) start tying it back, I realised that I actually needed to invest in some new hair bobbles- most of my old ones seem to have gone for a walk.

The pet hate that I’ve always had with traditional bobbles is that they kink your hair. Since I have very thin hair I only have to have it back in a ponytail for a few minutes for this to happen. If I wanted to tie my hair back and moisturise my face or do my makeup, I always had to straighten my hair again afterwards which was really impractical when I’m in a rush to catch the train to uni.

I read a blog post (I’m sorry I don’t remember who by) about these new bobbles called Invisibobbles that don’t kink your hair- Hallelujah!

Now I’m not going to lie I was a bit sceptical about this but I decided I was going to give it a go, I needed some anyway and if they did work then it would be a bonus.

Beat the Kink Bobble Review

I popped into Boots and noticed that next to the branded version, there was the Boots own brand ones for half the price!

I looked at both and couldn’t tell the difference except the packaging, so I decided to go for the own brand and see what they were like.

I absolutely love them!

They do exactly what people said: they don’t kink my hair at all! I had my hair up for nearly 6 hours and it came out exactly the same way as it went in- straight!

I don’t know if there’s a difference between the branded and own brand versions but I honestly can’t think of anything else these bobbles could do to make them even better. Unless of course they can teach me how to create a messy bun that doesn’t make me look like Mrs Trunchbull- that would be great!

I would definitely recommend investing in some of these if you haven’t already. You can pick up both branded and unbranded in two colours- black or clear. I picked up the clear ones as my hair is quite light these days and I thought the black ones would stand out.

Beat the Kink Bobble Review

Oh and just a little side note- you get four bands in the Boots ones but only three in the Invisibobble. Even better value! I keep one one in my bag, one on my bedside table, one over by my makeup and then the other is just floating around…somewhere…please tell me I’m not the only one who looses hair bands and bobby pins the second I buy them?!

I won’t sit here and tell you which ones are better, or which you should buy. I just want to give you my honest opinion and since I haven’t tried the Invisibobble, I can’t really make a fair comparison. I’ll leave you to make your own minds up but I would definitely recommend investing in a pack, they’re fantastic!

I’ll leave the link to both of them below, so you can check them out if you’re interested.

Invisibobble- Clear or Black 

Beat the Kink (Boots own brand)- Clear or Black 

Have you tried these? What do you think of them?

Check out my previous post: Travelling and Anxiety

Are we friends on social media?

Follow me on TwitterInstagram, Pinterest & Bloglovin to keep up to date!

Travelling and Anxiety

Travelling and Anxiety

I did a post last month on eBay and Anxiety, after I started selling a few things on there myself and realised it triggered my anxiety quite badly. 

I think this post actually got featured on Bloglovin as I woke up one morning with 40 odd views on that post- all referred from Bloglovin! This was absolutely amazing and by the end of the day I had over 90 views on this one post, weeks after I originally released it! 

This got me thinking about other things that can trigger anxiety and I came up with a huge list (thanks in part to the lovely folk on twitter too!), so I’ve decided to start a mini series on this subject. Each week i’ll cover a different situation and give tips and advice for how to minimise anxiety in that situation.

Travelling and Anxiety

This week I’m going to talk about anxiety while traveling. This is something i’ve struggled with myself for many years and, while I’m much better at it now that I was a few years ago, its taken a long time (and a lot of panic attacks) to reach this point.

So I want to share a few of the tips and tricks that I’ve picked up over the years:

  1. Check your travel times and where you need to get off. If you are travelling by train I would definitely recommend downloading TheTrainLine app, its been a life saver for me! Plus you can now buy eTickets through them on selected lines (yay to them finally adding mine on there) which means you can buy your ticket in advance; super helpful if you find it difficult to talk to people or worry about them giving you the wrong ticket. It also tells you every station you’ll pass on your way, so you can tick off which ones you’ve gone past and measure how far you have left to go until your stop.
  2. Leave early. Where possible give yourself a bit of a breathing space in case there are unforeseen problems- its better to get there early and have to wait than be late!
  3. Distract yourself. This will be different for each person but take something with you to distract yourself. I have a playlist on Spotify set up specifically for travelling, filled with my favourite songs that I can loose myself in. If I’m going on a long journey I’ll make sure I have my kindle with me too, so I can alternate between reading an listening to music. I know some people like to do work or play games when they travel so just make sure you have whatever you need with you to distract yourself.
  4. Invest in a portable charger. This leads on from the last point, since most things these days are electronic, portable chargers are a must! I actually don’t know how I coped without one. First world problems and all that. Make sure it is fully charged and you have the necessary wires with you before leaving the house. Oh and headphones, always make sure you have your headphones with you!
  5. Do some recon. If you have to go somewhere new, try and do a recon run with someone beforehand. I know that this isn’t always possible so I’m going to share a trick I’ve used quite a few times: use Google Maps and Google Street view. First use the map to plan out your route and screenshot it so you have it with you then use the street view to virtually “walk” the route you need to take. Look for buildings or features you will remember along the way to help you remember where you are going and tick off as you pass them. It might help to write them down and make notes if you are going to pass quite a few and don’t think you’ll remember them all.

Do you have any tips or tricks that you find useful while travelling? Also are there any topics you specifically want me to cover? Let me know either in the comments on on social media!

Other posts in this series include:

eBay and Anxiety

Check out my previous post: Dear Diary: Pre-Freshers & Enrollment Week

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Follow me on TwitterInstagram, Pinterest & Bloglovin to keep up to date!

Dear Diary: Pre-Freshers & Enrollment Week

Dear Diary: Pre-Freshers & Enrollment Week

Its finally here. This has been my last week before freshers week and I’ve not done even half of what I planned to do!

I was hoping to get a lot of blog posts pre written so that I don’t have to worry about writing them for my first few week at uni (I’ll have enough to worry about I’m sure!) but I’ve just not really got round to it.

I don’t particularly plan on taking part much in freshers, I’m mostly going for the free things, so I should still have some time next week to get my butt in gear and get a load written!

I have been so undecided on if to take part in any of the freshers activities, I feel like I have to and while a small part of me wants to try it, the rest of me knows I won’t like it- its just not my kind of thing. One of my friends has invited me for a comedy night and another to the students union welcome party and I’m going to try both, even if it’s just for a few hours so I can say I did something.

Gotta love how I’m basically peer pressuring myself into this!

But thats a topic for next weeks post, this week has been a bit of a mixed up one.

Dear Diary: Pre-Freshers & Enrollment Week

Monday was scheduled for post tattoo recovery but I ended up getting a really nice surprise: Em at Oh Fab  had nominated me for the Liebster Awards! My arm was still a little too tender to type properly so I couldn’t write the post straight away but I really enjoyed reading other peoples posts and finding some new blogs to follow (which of course if the point of the award).

Related: Dear Diary: I Finally Got My Tattoo Covered Up!

Tuesday was dedicated to writing up the award post. My arm was still tender if I accidentally caught it on the keyboard (which happened a lot!) and I even resorted to trying the dictation option…which didn’t work. Apparently Apple can’t understand a Yorkshire gals accent and while it got frustrating, it did result in some amusing sentences which I most definitely didn’t say!

Related: The Liebster Award

Wednesday was devoted to writing a very difficult and very personal post: My Anorexia Story. I had been wanting to write this post for a while, to highlight the effects of eating disorders that people might not be aware of and to hopefully help people who have ED feel less alone. Maybe even help them start the road to recovery.

After I posted it I basically worked myself up into a panic and nearly deleted the post twice. I was convinced I was going to get the comments I’ve had in the past about how “I’m making it up for attention” or “You don’t look like you have an eating disorder, you’re fat”. I might have a very thick skin by now but people don’t seem to realise that comments like that, especially the last one, can cause people to relapse! I’m already struggling not to relapse and I didn’t really want to risk a thoughtless comment setting it back off again.

I shouldn’t have worried though, all the comments I received were so lovely! People telling me that I was really brave to write about my experience and others saying that they’d learnt something new about the effects of ED!

Related: My Anorexia Story & Things You Might Not Know About Eating Disorders

Thursday was all about Pinterest! I have such a love for this site and can spend hour at a time looking at outfit, makeup or home inspirations. I have a board for other peoples blog posts, where I save any I’ve enjoyed reading but for some reason I didn’t have one for my own posts!

I’ve been a fan of Melyssa Griffin for a long time and I’ve seen a lot of posts she’s written about how Pinterest can be a great way of getting traffic to your blog. Now admittedly I don’t have the money to take her e-courses  *sad face* but she creates a ton of posts and workbooks that she shares for free! This post in particular has been a game changer and I I’m already seeing one or two referrals from Pinterest and thats just in a few days!

I’m also going to add a cheeky little plugin here but if you want to follow me on Pinterest that would make my day: you can find me here!

Playing Destiny on the Xbox

I’m not going to lie- Friday was a lazy day. I sat in my pjs, drank a ton of warm ribena, ate a lot of junk food and played Destiny on my xbox! After a busy week and with the fact I’m going to uni now getting so close I can’t ignore it, I just needed some me time! This for me is one of the best ways to relax.

Sometimes I’ll just curl up and read all day but when I’ve got a lot on my mind, shooting things and having to concentrate on what I’m doing is the best way to distract myself- it stops my mind wandering down paths I really don’t want it to go down!

I’ll not bore the non-gamer readers with the details but lets just say I did a lot of things I was proud of and came top overall scorer in a PVP (player verses player) match- not something I’m good at normally! My fellow gamers will understand.

Related: Dear Diary: I’m Going To University

The plan for the weekend was to get as many blog posts as I could pre-written but so far all I’ve really done is watch a ton of films I haven’t watched since I was a kid.

I did get one post written though…thats something…right?

However I think I must have been featured on Bloglovin or something as I woke up this morning to 34 views on my eBay and Anxiety post- all referred via Bloglovin!!

I’m not going to lie normally I get one or two referrals from there but it’s not my biggest source of traffic so waking up to see that has been incredible! I don’t know how to find out if I have been featured somewhere on their site but whatever the reason behind this, I feel like I’m 4 years old and getting my first certificate in assembly at school for a good piece of work!

Now I’m going to make myself a big cup of coffee, a stack of toast and get writing some posts while this “wow I’m amazing and can achieve anything” feeling lasts!

 

Check out my previous post: My Anorexia Story & Things You Might Not Know About Eating Disorders

Are we friends on social media?

Follow me on TwitterInstagram, Pinterest & Bloglovin to keep up to date with me!

 

My Anorexia Story & Things You Might Not Know About Eating Disorders

My Anorexia Story & Things You Might Not Know About Eating Disorders

Recently I’ve noticed the the media seems to glamorise the subject of Mental Health for some bizarre reason. It’s seen as something cute to have, even fashionable! I don’t know why this has come about, it seems to have happened with a lot of Mental Health conditions such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders and even self harm.

I’ve wanted to write a post about the side effects of eating disorders for a while and seeing things like this is the media recently has motivated me to bite the bullet and write this now. I’m so nervous about telling my personal story, I’ve spent so long pretending it isn’t a problem and I’ve had a lot of negative comments said to me over the years, so I’m scared of the reaction this post will get. Still I’m a big believer that we can only get rid of the stigma around Mental Health (of all kinds) by talking about it, so I guess this is me practicing what I preach!

Now I just want to put a disclaimer and a warning in here: I’m not a doctor or medical professional of any kind! What I write here isn’t gospel, it’s just what I have found from my own personal experience with ED. If you’re concerned about anything you should always go and talk to a medical professional and always remember that no two people experiences things the same. Also I’m aware that some people can be triggered by things like this so just a little heads up that this post will cover eating disorders (anorexia) and the possible effects from them. If you think that this might upset you then please click the little X in the top corner and I’ll see you for my next post🙂

My Anorexia Story & Things You Might Not Know About Eating Disorders

So time for a little bit of back story on my eating disorder.

I’ve always had a bit of a problem with food, my family used to say things like “don’t eat that it will go straight to your hips” and “don’t eat that you’ll get fat”. This gave me a really negative view on food at a really impressionable age and I would regularly have days where I would eat as little as possible or even nothing at all if I could get away with it. It only lasted a day or two normally and then wouldn’t happen again for weeks or even months, so it didn’t impact on my life except to annoy my dad and have him shout at me he was going to force me to go to the doctors every so often.

Then when I was about 17 I caught that Novo bug that was going round. For anyone that doesn’t know what this is, it’s a really aggressive sickness bug that put a fair few people in hospital, it was that bad. Now I could count on one hand the number of times I’d even been sick before that point and I’d never had a problem with it. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t like it but it didn’t scare me or anything. But for some reason the thought of being sick absolutely terrified me this time, I’ve still not figured out why. It something that’s stayed with me and I’ve got a feeling I’m going to be stuck with the phobia for life now.

Now my brain in its infinite wisdom decided that the best way to stop me being sick was to not eat or drink anything and it seemed like a brilliant idea at the time! I never was sick (although that’s probably the anti sickness tablets I was taking like smarties rather than my brilliant logic…) but I noticed that I started loosing weight and liked the empty feeling that starving myself gave me, so I kept doing it. If there had been more information and awareness on eating disorders this behaviour and thinking would probably have pinged my radar but I never thought twice about what I was doing.

Anyway to cut a long story short it ended up turning into full blown anorexia, I was living off a cereal bar and a glass of water a day for about 4-6 months. My memories of this time are a bit off so I’m not quite sure how long it was. Seemed like forever at the time. When the bug finally left my system I carried on not eating because I liked how much weight I had lost. God only knows why when I look back on one of the only photos I have from this period of my life: I was ridiculously thin, you could see every bone in my body and I looked really ill!

This is what I looked like when I was about a month into recovery

This is what I looked like when I was about a month into recovery

I managed to kick myself out of this when I realised exactly how close to ending up in hospital I actually was. My parents have already lost one child, my brother, I wasn’t about to be the cause of them loosing their second. I slowly started to eat again and nearly two years on my relationship with food has improved loads. While I still relapse more often than I like to admit, I’m at a point where I can compensate somewhat and try and make up for the bad days. Its not perfect but I’m better than I was!

Now onto some of the things you might not know about eating disorders and the long term effects and consequences that it can cause.

  • Loose teeth/Bad gums. This is something that can be caused by malnutrition and lack of vitamins according to the doctor. My front bottom two teeth are slightly loose and I can’t bite with them for fear that I’ll make them worse and end up loosing them. Even now they’re still a problem and I don’t know if they will ever go back to how they were.
  • Hair falls out. The reason I cut my hair so short was because my hair was falling out and it had started to get quite bad. Don’t get me wrong I’d always wanted to try short hair since my mum has had it for most of my life and it looks lovely on her! I guess I would have been happier if I’d chosen to do it rather than having my hand forced somewhat. Luckily cutting my hair made it so much healthier and gave it back some of the thickness and life that it had lost. I’ve now managed to grow it back to shoulder length and it is so much healthier than it was even before I started with my eating disorder- guess there’s a silver lining in everything!
  • You gain so much weight when you enter recovery. When I started to recover I slapped the weight straight back on. Now this wouldn’t bother me if I’d just gone back to the size I had been before. I was a health size 8 and 8 and a half stone…I’ve now got to the point where a size 12 can be tight and I weigh 10 stone. While most people would just say that this is a healthy size and not to worry about it, what you have to understand is that to go from one extreme to the other in a pretty short period of time is very difficult mentally. I am in a daily battle not to start starving myself again because I know it will make me loose weight. Instead I’m going to try and loose it the normal way, by eating healthy and exercise.
  • You’ll have constant headaches/be lethargic/have no energy. This was a huge problem for me, I would have to go to college every other day and concentrate on my work while hardly having enough to energy to brush my teeth. No wonder I only just passed college. I was predicted DDM and I only scraped through with MMP which, to be fair I’m surprised I managed to get. Anyone who’s ever tried to work with a bad headache will know how hard it is to concentrate and I had one constantly! This nearly cost me a place at university and it’s only through some very good luck, a kind tutor and an unconventional journey that I’ve managed to get where I am now. One small thing can effect your whole life without you even realising!
  • You’ll loose a lot of your muscle strength. I’ve always been pretty strong and prided myself on that fact but now I have almost no strength left in my arms and my legs aren’t as strong as I’m used to! I’m working on building them back up but it’s hard to do when they start shaking the second you start using them. 

I’d love to hear your own experiences with eating disorders of any kind, I think it is still seen as a bit of a taboo subject and I’d love to change that!

Check out my previous post: The Liebster Award

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